The Novel as an Exercise in Truth-telling

The question, “Would I read a novel entirely written about my life?” is really two questions. Would a novel about my life be interesting (to me, or to anyone), and can a compelling novel be written about any life? The former pertains to the specifics of my life, and its interest to myself in narrative form, while the latter wonders if we can define that makings of a good bildungsroman and if there are any lives beyond the pale.

My initial reaction to this question, to be honest, was fear. I’m mildly terrified about the contents of my mind and of my life. I believe that as humans we lie to ourselves a lot. We tell little lies to each other, to keep the people we love up, and to ourselves going. We lie about our lives to ourselves. Of course, not all these lies are there to hide the bad things. I’m sure many of us, especially at Stanford, are quick to diminish our accomplishments. My reaction comes from my unwillingness to acknowledge my own life in its entirety.

That was just my initial reaction. After a few moments, my answer became a resounding yes. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to grant a writer access to everything that has happened to me. It would be pretty exciting! And I think I would benefit from someone breaking down my self-perception a little bit. A friend of mine once told me that anything you can observe about yourself isn’t a trait unique to you. “I’m a vegan” doesn’t really mean anything. “I’m a caring person” doesn’t either. It’s fairly easy to make meaningless generalizations about ourselves that are somehow meant to capture “our true character”. I would be interested to find out what insights a third person narrator could make about my character and my choices. I would be interested to find out what I truly desire in life because I’m pretty sure I don’t know.

There are so many things I wish I could remember better, too. I wish I could go back to times in my life and see them rendered with more clarity, the clarity a third person narrator has.

Of the second question, I do think a compelling novel could be written about any life. Perhaps it would be less honest, but I think a little finessing could raise the dramatic tension in almost anyone’s personal story. When asked on the first day of class, “what is a story?” someone answered that a story has to do with people, or things that act like people. I think all people have dreams (even pigs have dreams! pretty cool, huh?). Many stories deal with individuals striving toward a dream and either meeting it or falling short. If what I believe is true, and all people have dreams, then a novel can be written about anyone. In this case, I like to think about the Walt Whitman poem, “A Noiseless Patient Spider”.

A NOISELESS, patient spider,

I mark’d, where, on a little promontory, it stood, isolated;

Mark’d how, to explore the vacant, vast surrounding,

It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself;

Ever unreeling them—ever tirelessly speeding them.         

 

And you, O my Soul, where you stand,

Surrounded, surrounded, in measureless oceans of space,

Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing,—seeking the spheres, to connect them;

Till the bridge you will need, be form’d—till the ductile anchor hold;

Till the gossamer thread you fling, catch somewhere, O my Soul.